Bianca Brucato
October 26, 2014
Professor Young
English 1100
“Natural
Beauty is Powerful”
Have
you ever wondered what people truly look like under piles and piles of makeup?
Many young girls and women wear tons of makeup that make it impossible to see
who they truly are. They have this idea that in order to be beautiful they have
to alter themselves to fit a certain criteria that society puts on them. In the
“Cameron Russell Ted Talk”, Russell talks about society’s perception of beauty
is being abnormally skinny, white, and pretty. This perception causes many
young girls and women to try to make themselves something their not in order to
fit in with the so call “norms” of society. I think that natural beauty is the
one of the greatest forms of honesty because it comes from within you and is a
reflection of who you truly are.
Natural
beauty is a powerful tool because it is “In the eye of the beholder.” People
have all different views and perception on what beauty is. Beauty can be people
of all different shapes and sizes; they can tall, short, fat, or skinny. Natural
beauty is honest, fair and true because it is something that all people posses
and cannot be bought or altered. Most
people wear makeup and get plastic surgery because they are insecure, or they
are trying to hide something. Being naturally beauty and showing it off in your
daily life shows you are confident and content with yourself. Natural beauty
can be seen differently to all people, and is one of the truest forms of
beauty.
Many
people have a stereotypical and falsified view of what beauty is. As seen in
the “Cameron Russell Ted Talk” video, Russell talks about how society views
beauty as being abnormally skinny, white, and pretty. This perception society
puts on beauty is not always honest because many young girls and women alter themselves
to fit this perception. Natural beauty is one of the most honest forms of
beauty because it is possessed by everyone and comes from within you.
Bianca, thank you for your response, but I think you could have done more.
ReplyDeleteFor example your title suggests that you'll be writing about the Power of Natural Beauty, but you don't really prove that. How is natural beauty beautiful? What makes it beautiful? Why?
If this is your main point, "I think that natural beauty is the one of the greatest forms of honesty because it comes from within you and is a reflection of who you truly are," then you must show this throughout your response with specifics and examples. Where have you done this? What is your definition of natural beauty. Provide it. Explain it and clarify it.
Where have you written about this in the body of your paper: " Many people have a stereotypical and falsified view of what beauty is"? Explain falsification. What do you mean? Remember not to include new information in your conclusion.
Your pattern of grammar error Bianca is to leave out words from many of your sentences. Before you turn in an essay, put at least 3 lines in between each sentence and point to each word with a pencil. If each line does not make sense on its own, then you fix it by adding what's missing.
Study homonyms. Oftentimes you misuse them: their = ownership. That is their coat.
they're = they are. They're going to the story to buy their coat.
there = location. When they get there, they're going to buy the warmest one.
Go through your essay and fix it.
Do my comments make sense? Please respond.